Sometimes, my thoughts really just keep me zoning out at like any time of the day. What else would be bothering, besides the thought of my love life and the feelings I have for a person. To be totally honest, if I tell you my story, you would get pretty confused.. the thing is, I don’t know who or what I want sometimes, but when it all comes down to it? It has always been my first love. The guy I met my freshman year, the guy I seriously fell in love with and talked to for like 6+ months or something. Absolutely everyone we knew and maybe a bunch of people we don’t know, saw we were a couple.. but not a regular PDA type of couple. I mean, this guy was literally like my best friend. Every time we were together, we joke around, tease, pick on and everything else you probably wouldn’t see a couple do to each other. It wasn’t all about the usual boyfriend and girlfriend things and being mean to each other 24/7 .. it was the fact that we had each other. I really do miss the way it used to be and if he never moved away, I wouldn’t be so confused. I’ve done a lot of stupid things to cope with how sad I was. It was all dumb of me, but it all got me where I’m at today. If I had a chance to meet up with him again, I’d hope we could give love a chance again.
I have a handful of guy friends that really think they might get a chance with me, but to be totally honest, I cannot see myself being with ANYONE. I really have no problem being single. I went out and lived my life, learning from the bad decisions made and what not. I’m in no rush to get into anything serious and I wish most people understood that. That’s one thing I learned from though, to just let people do what they do and mind my own and live, not worrying about anything except about myself. I’m sure I’ll know when the right time is for me. I’m going with the flow and just letting things happen because i’m sure they’re all bound to happen sooner or later. Life is life. I take what it gives to me. I’ll hate it most times, but that’s alright actually.